tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102005442011-04-21T19:08:58.722-05:00This is the place where I exercise my right to be clever. Okay, fine. This is the place where I TRY to be clever, but end up just spewing verbal garbage on the Internet. Wait a minute, was that an attempt at being clever? Whatever, read the damn thing if you want. Otherwise, enjoy your life.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.comBlogger801100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-87699592127587903052008-11-24T12:54:00.002-06:002008-11-24T12:55:07.284-06:00

I moved away from this platform a long time ago. I'm now rocking wordpress on my own domain. Czech it there: Justin Schmidt

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-68265515368247020592008-02-09T23:33:00.001-06:002008-02-09T23:33:51.433-06:00

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1163056207025656462006-11-09T01:09:00.000-06:002006-11-09T01:10:07.036-06:00

I love LOST. I don't love this three month wait until the second half of the new season. It is bullshit.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1156828732023633792006-08-28T23:38:00.000-05:002006-08-29T00:18:52.056-05:00

So my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed last week. One hospital visit, two dry sockets, and a ton of pain later, she's doing better.I hated getting my wisdom teeth removed. However, my experience doesn't hold a candle to the shit my dearest has had to endure. We as humans have to do something about wisdom teeth and appendixes. They do nothing but annoy.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1150053984952029612006-06-11T13:59:00.000-05:002006-06-11T14:47:02.936-05:00

I don't like pundits. Why must we have them? Is it really necessary for Tucker Carlson and Michael Moore to be so single sided? Ugh...If it were up to me, there would be a law requiring any obviously biased program to have a little ticker would scroll across the bottom of the screen reading "In case you didn't know, this is only one side of the story." After the O'reilly factor, there would

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1147316740334231002006-05-10T21:54:00.000-05:002006-05-10T22:05:40.353-05:00

Muse is one of my all time favorite bands. They have a singer who can do whatever he wants, they take risks, and they have talent that isn't hidden behind a desire to be cool. More importantly, they have that quality that makes people love them or hate them. I like polarization, especially in art. If EVERYONE likes something or EVERYONE hates something, then chances are whatever is the target

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1135955909644082882005-12-30T09:15:00.000-06:002005-12-30T09:18:29.670-06:00

My Top Ten Albums of 2005.I don't have some great introduction paragraph in mind for this list. Instead, I'm going to kick it off with a disclaimer. Think of it as one of the few times in life someone is kind enough to give you the small print up front rather than after you've made the investment. This top ten list is comprised of albums that were new to me in 2005. Not all of them came out

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1135830279876313672005-12-28T22:18:00.000-06:002005-12-28T22:24:39.903-06:00

My Dearest Reader:I just ate a heaping plate of Top Ten Records of the Year. Right now this tasty morsel is being sucked of whatever nutrients it delivered to my body and will soon be sent into the hellish depths of my colon. As my Top Ten slips and slides through the zig and the zag of my large intestine it will turn to shit. Once the transformation is complete I will relax my sphincter and

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1132855745946171832005-11-24T12:03:00.000-06:002005-11-24T12:09:05.970-06:00

Today is the day where I get to pack my gut full of every type of food imaginable. There will be football, turkey, egg nog, beer, and everything else you could possibly want. Amazing.To you and yours, Happy Thanksgiving.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1131825235145939892005-11-12T13:45:00.000-06:002005-11-12T15:02:08.816-06:00

I think that is the lyric. I'm trying to reference an Edgar Winter song. Usually people only think of Edgar's instrumental piece "Frankenstein" when they're faced with the issue of recalling an Edgar Winter song. However, the rest of that album is awfully good.I don't really have a specific topic to blog about today, so I'm going to do one of my lists. This list isn't in any particular order.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1131230624744465502005-11-05T16:30:00.000-06:002005-11-05T16:43:44.766-06:00

I have to admit that I'm not a fan of being put on speakerphone. Then again, not many people do. I don't mind the idea of everyone being able to hear the conversation. However, I do mind not being able to clearly understand the other person. Speakerphone makes everyone a little quieter and a little more "mumblier".However, my dearest Robyn is the most precious creature on earth, and she can

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1130638107258324282005-10-29T20:52:00.000-05:002005-10-29T21:08:27.290-05:00

The two rappers that I name dropped in the title for this post always seem to rap about how they are back and the "game" has been overrun with bitches and punks since they left. Well, the vessel of the blogosphere has been scuttled by a bunch of no good hacks, but I am back. I suppose.Allow me to explain my absence. I work full time now. My whole day is spent in front of a computer typing

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1128306854719215462005-10-02T21:33:00.000-05:002005-10-02T21:34:14.726-05:00

I'm really not. I just don't ever blog anymore.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1121213405665125882005-07-12T19:08:00.000-05:002005-07-12T19:10:05.670-05:00

I just ate a burger from "Big V's Burger Joint" here in Saint Louis. This fucking thing was narsty. I mean NARSTY! I swear to whatever god you choose that I just consumed a zillion calories.Kinda makes me wish I was drunk.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1119831343893663502005-06-26T19:03:00.000-05:002005-06-26T19:15:43.900-05:00

My air conditioner in my apartment is broken. It is fucking hot man. Ugh.I hope everyone's weekend was as fun as mine. I actually played the drinking game "asshole". I haven't played asshole in a couple years! So, in the spirit of drinking games, here is a list of my to five favorite drinking games.5.) CannonballMy buddy Matt always emcees this game for one reason. He is the only one that

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1118972576139826592005-06-16T20:33:00.000-05:002005-06-16T20:42:56.143-05:00

What if people really had the kind of names like people do in fantasty movies? Obi Wan, Aragon, Atreyu, the list goes on and on. I don't know why I titled this post like I did.I don't even know why I find it so dificult to blog regularly. I need some sort of "Internet fiber" to keep me regular.Does this mean my blog has turned into a bowel movement?I sure as shit don't update it and promote it

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1118281913314221322005-06-08T20:39:00.000-05:002005-06-08T20:51:53.320-05:00

Can guys have "blonde moments"? I sure as hell hope so. I've been doing a lot of stupid shit lately. Today, for example, I got up from my desk to go ask our graphic artist a question. There was this proof I was supposed to bring him. I got all the way to his door before I realized I forgot the proof. Well, I went back to my desk, got a proof, and walked all the way back to the artists'

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1118109553139289502005-06-06T20:56:00.000-05:002005-06-06T20:59:13.140-05:00

Apple has decided to switch to Intel processors starting next year.For those of you who have a nerdy side like me, you immediately understand the implications of the previous sentence. This is incredible.You know what is also incredible? The defensive clinic the Saint Louis Cardinals are putting on right now. I love baseball.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1117999742972751832005-06-05T14:05:00.000-05:002005-06-05T14:29:02.976-05:00

As per the request of a certain someone, who will remain anonymous, I will open the floor to a little discussion on heavy metal. I'm not talking about iron, pewter and steel. I'm talking about the loud angry stuff that makes some people really nervous. I'm talking about METAL.What makes good metal? This is a tough question. If you can answer this, then you can answer the broader question of "What

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1117843374769285362005-06-03T18:59:00.000-05:002005-06-03T19:09:32.473-05:00

Okay, so get a load of this:Gadget Promos Creep Into TV Showswhat the fuck?Nothing is sacred anymore. That bullshit you saw on Minority Report isn't that far off people. Pretty soon EVERYTHING YOU EXPERIENCE will have some sort of sponsored marketing message behind it. Everything.See why I had a crisis on why I got a degree in Marketing? It is people in my profession that whore our senses and

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1117585289352824112005-05-31T19:20:00.000-05:002005-05-31T19:21:29.356-05:00

My sister is graduating from High School in about 45 minutes. Fuck Yeah Biz! Way to go sis!

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1117378015727151012005-05-29T09:43:00.000-05:002005-05-29T09:47:20.376-05:00

Today is the day that we Americans all do something VERY American together. We barbecue! Most of us have tomorrow off, so traditionally today is the day we cook on open fires, drink beer, and play yard games. Mmmm.In case you haven't noticed, my dearest reader, I like barbecues.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1117257654436219252005-05-28T00:09:00.000-05:002005-05-28T00:20:54.440-05:00

Methinks we should get wasted on Saturday.Here is the plan.Delmar - Blueberry Hill, Delmar Lounge, Pinup, Saleem's, and then we will end our night at the Mecca of Late-Night Wastedness: The Halo BarFor those of you who do not live in the Lou, the Halo is that place that is at the end of a great strip of bars and clubs that seems to be open two hours later than all the other bars. Every city has

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1117165778482233872005-05-26T22:30:00.000-05:002005-05-26T22:49:38.486-05:00

Why is it that everything has to be some sort of "comeback" these days? Every Kid Rock song starts with him saying, "I'm Back!" Back from what? I don't know. Actually, I hope I he never puts out another album. Seriously.Then you've got the washed-up old athlete that makes the big comeback. Inevitably he/she ends up sucking and wasting our time. Yet we still shell out money to see some 41

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1116942388849216562005-05-24T08:45:00.000-05:002005-05-24T08:46:28.853-05:00

I still haven't updated anything. I'm really sorry.Wait a minute, nobody really cares except for me. Hmm. It's not like this is CNN.com or something. Either way, I feel bad.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1116730430947303982005-05-21T21:53:00.000-05:002005-05-26T22:59:30.640-05:00

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1116688567103037312005-05-21T10:14:00.000-05:002005-05-21T10:16:07.106-05:00

Expect a drunken audio post tonight. The guys (finally) get a weekend alone. This ought to be enjoyable...

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1116375537519429062005-05-17T19:17:00.000-05:002005-05-17T19:18:57.520-05:00

I'll update the poll, brainchew, shoutbox, etc tomorrow.I can no longer bearTo stareAt a computer screenKnow what I mean?Shit Justin! Can you possibly be any dorkier?

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1116375411508630092005-05-17T18:55:00.000-05:002005-05-17T19:16:51.513-05:00

As much fun as working can be, I miss having all sorts of time to blog. It is amazing how we have all this fancy new technology that saves us time, but we still don't have any time. The reason for this, in my humble opinion, is that sure we can save time these days, but we just cram more things to do in the open space. Lets take the average worker. Back in the day, a person had to fax a

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1116111323200721312005-05-14T17:50:00.000-05:002005-05-14T17:56:05.326-05:00

Saw Turd Eh ida gate de. Id mu ffa vorit uball des. now erk, now uttin. Isa geud.Sorry, I had to pretend like I was speaking with a mouthful of marbles.Here is a link, I'll add it to the blogroll as well.Postsecret

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1115952077996231752005-05-12T21:23:00.000-05:002005-05-12T21:41:18.000-05:00

You know what is the greatest thing about being in a band? After parties. I don't mean to sound like an ass, but its all about the party. Yeah, music is great and all and the thrill of playing in front of people slays, but its the PARTY that I like.While my old band was never anywhere remotely close to rock icons, we still could pull a good crowd. We also knew how to party. Did we party like

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1115856009359719782005-05-11T18:41:00.000-05:002005-05-11T19:00:09.423-05:00

Dear Hollywood,So I see it is once again big blockbuster time at the movies. I bet you guys are thrilled! This season we have remakes of movies that have already been done, comic book inspired movies, sequels, more sequels, movies based on books, and what is supposedly the "last" sequel to the quintessential blockbuster. Millions of people around the world are going to be spending the hot

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1115571426808777252005-05-08T11:43:00.000-05:002005-05-08T11:57:06.883-05:00

I really wish we could do something about credit cards. I, like most people my age, have a little bit of credit card debt that is going to take me a little bit to pay off. Some people are less fortunate. Everyone has heard the horror story of this person with like $8000 in debt or something outrageous. Could you imagine? For all I know some of you, my dearest readers, may have astronomical

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1115313863250447492005-05-05T12:21:00.000-05:002005-05-05T12:24:23.256-05:00

I was in a really good mood until I read this little Rolling Stone thing.Rolling Stone BlogWe all know that RS as a left-ish bent. However, this isn't the first time or first source I've heard about this stuff. The whole social security thing really chaps my ass, but I don't want to get into it.Scary stuff.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1115253527915174372005-05-04T19:30:00.000-05:002005-05-04T19:39:42.746-05:00

I have absolutely nothing to blog about right now. Sorry I've been a little lazy in posting every single day. Unfortunately, working all the time tends to detract from my blogging. You know what though? It beats the hell out of sitting around on my ass all day for nothing. Now, I get to sit on my ass and get paid for it.Babble babble, blah blah blah.Okay, Haiku time again!Tonight I ate

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1115092488884935992005-05-02T22:46:00.000-05:002005-05-02T22:54:48.883-05:00

Was that not a great movie? I was thinking about Deniro and Hoffman's classic today while I was perusing through the never ending stream of bad news coming out of Iraq. I really have nothing else to add, except that I want to see Wag the Dog again.How could I forget?! The special edition of Spaceballs comes out tomorrow.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1114991672719459062005-05-01T18:41:00.000-05:002005-05-01T18:54:32.720-05:00

Hello my dearest of dearest readers! I bring to you today something that the lovely Robyn sent to me.Miss PoppyThis store has other strange things to buy, but this is by far the strangest. There is this little blurb on the page that acknowledges that the item is satire, but I still bet that a bunch of people buy this because they think all babies should start life like this one.I start my new

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1114892465416806912005-04-30T15:10:00.000-05:002005-04-30T15:21:05.416-05:00

****I really thought this kind of thing only happened in silly girlie movies. How much you want to bet her fiance does not want to marry this crazy bitch anymore?The Runaway Bride****Here is a story that I like to file under "No Shit".Microsoft: The Cash MachineMicrosoft is a successful company that makes a lot of money? Wow.****WARNING: What follows is the most sacrilegious thing I have ever

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1114712129148872332005-04-28T12:57:00.000-05:002005-04-28T13:22:47.740-05:00

I just typed this really great blog about our insatiable appetites for information and how humanity's quest for knowledge does not follow the same life cycle as everything else in existence. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, I accidentally deleted it before I could post. Fuck.Instead, my dearest reader, I'll leave you with a different piece of thought.Ever wonder

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1114467007823848022005-04-25T16:21:00.000-05:002005-04-25T17:10:07.826-05:00

Today I am going to get all high and mighty on a Mr. Jake Goldenflame, a recovering sex offender that CNN interviewed this morning. This guy served ONLY 5 years for two counts of child molestation and is now pitching his website and his book on making the general public aware of the issues facing sex offenders. The reason this worthless shit piece was on CNN was because some pedophile in

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1114391683249077772005-04-24T20:04:00.000-05:002005-04-24T20:14:43.250-05:00

Okay, I have a perfectly valid reason why it has taken me three days to post something new. I'm in San Francisco right now visiting my dearest Robyn, so I have been getting laid. For once.We spent the last two days in Lake Tahoe where I had the pleasure of meeting her parents for the first time (I have to be real careful how I tell this story because she is leaning over my shoulder right now).

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113853587666442812005-04-20T10:46:00.000-05:002005-04-20T12:47:50.490-05:00

I got an idea, a nerdy idea, but an idea nonetheless.Methinks its time we prove the existence of time travel. Let us answer the skeptics and offer ourselves a glimpse into the future. I, with the help of my father, have devised a way to prove whether or not traveling through time is possible. Not only will we answer the question regarding science's greatest mystery, we can also make a very big

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113855031462363452005-04-18T14:46:00.000-05:002005-04-18T15:12:17.590-05:00

These sound like the perfect things to drink whilst in the sun.Babymama:1.5 oz: Banana Liqueur (99 Bananas)1.5 oz: Strawberry Vodka (Stolichnaya Strasberi)1 dash: Grenadine2.0 oz: Pineapple JuiceShake ingredients with ice, strain into highball glass on the rocks.Electric Smurf:1.0 oz: Blue Curacao1.0 oz: Coconut Rum1 part: Pineapple Juice1 part: SpriteFill lower half of highball glass with ice

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113596452761049962005-04-15T15:20:00.000-05:002005-04-15T16:51:25.623-05:00

Why are people so hell bent on creating a homogeneous culture? What is so fucking wrong about being different? I predict that in the future almost every community on earth is going to look like the creepy neighborhoods in Edward Scissorhands or The Truman Show. Entire towns with cookie-cutter houses built on streets that form perfectly square grids will be commonplace. Every major highway in

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113511648321893972005-04-14T15:18:00.000-05:002005-04-14T15:47:28.323-05:00

Oftentimes I try to make my post topics somehow relate to the content of the post. Today, however, that is not the case. The title of this post is its own separate morsel of thought.My dearest Robyn has shown me what may be the funniest thing on the Internet this year. It is my duty to share with all of you.Mosh GirlMy favorite is the one where she is running from the car.I must admit, my

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113418497766699592005-04-13T13:35:00.000-05:002005-04-13T13:54:57.766-05:00

So it appears we have another kidnapped hostage in Iraq that may or may not get his head cut off. Also, the GOP is bitching about estate taxes, again. Some laboratory invented this psycho killer flu virus and are now being asked to destroy it before someone fucks up and unleashes the damn thing. Is there ever any good news? Not really.One thing I like to do to inject some positive vibes into

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113242665508055362005-04-11T12:56:00.000-05:002005-04-11T13:04:25.510-05:00

I have something for you my dearest reader.Epic 2014My idea machine began to churn after watching this little flash video. Needless to say, it got me writing. I'll share with you the results in a day or so. In the interim, please feel free to comment. While watching the video, pay attention to the ID card. I thought it was a clever nod.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113164008813608552005-04-10T15:01:00.000-05:002005-04-10T15:13:28.813-05:00

I know its early in the season, but my dearest Cardinals better get their heads out of their asses!Calm down Schmditty. Calm down. Everything is going to be okay.Phew.Its a new week people, which means a new question and a new poll. Fuckin' A man.In case you couldn't tell, I really have nothing to blog about today. However, I will say that the title of this post was inspired by a movie that

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1113087352423427442005-04-09T17:18:00.001-05:002005-04-28T13:20:47.910-05:00

The two nice seasons of the year are upon us folks. Here are some of my favorite things about Spring and Summer. Please feel free to share your favorites.I love it when you spend an entire day outside in the sun and get all sleepy when you come inside. Those are some of the best naps you can take.Pretty soon the lightning bugs will be back! Luckily for them, I have grown out of hunting them

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1112898566976150242005-04-07T13:07:00.000-05:002005-04-07T13:34:27.100-05:00

People are so fucking brilliant.Read Me.Keep in mind that it was only a 127 years ago that Edison invented the light bulb.Today's post is a compliment to yesterday's article. I have laid out for you, my dearest reader, the opposite ends of the spectrum of human intelligence. We are the ultimate paradox. Somehow humans manage to be incredibly brilliant and extremely moronic all at the same time

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1112812833110755492005-04-06T13:37:00.000-05:002005-04-06T16:53:42.780-05:00

People are so fucking ignorant.Here is an article from the Baltimore Sun 03/08/05 Written by Michael Olesker:A Tale of Customer Service, Justice and Currency as Funny as a $2 billIf for some reason the above link doesn't work, then try this one.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1112743136751796562005-04-05T17:17:00.000-05:002005-04-11T22:50:55.896-05:00

Dear IOC,When the 2008 Olympics roll around I think you should add another event. People running and playing soccer is really great and all, but I need more. There needs to be some sort of event that is a perfect literal translation for something that happens all to often in our society. We need an event to which the common folk can relate. We need something with a little pizzaz.Can you guys

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1112554324204195952005-04-03T13:40:00.000-05:002005-04-03T14:05:39.426-05:00

Every once and a while we come across situations and events in our lives that create awfully beautiful memories. It just so happens I was fortunate enough to experience this phenomenon this weekend. So, rather than write this crazy story alone, I'm going to open the floor of the comments section to the people who helped create this weekend. Stop in for a comment and tell your story (help me

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1112374558218705592005-04-01T10:15:00.000-06:002005-04-01T11:10:10.703-06:00

This has been the longest gap between posts in a while, my apologies. I've been a little out of sync since refusing my job offer. It sucks when you are rockin' and rollin' and all of a sudden you get sent back to square one. Oh well, life goes on.Speaking of life moving on, its springtime! Trees have buds on them and the birds are back, at least for those of us where we have discernible

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1112073549400530192005-03-28T23:19:00.000-06:002005-03-28T23:58:20.760-06:00

So now it works, eh? Nevertheless, this is what I meant to post this afternoon.There was quite an argument during the editors' meeting over whether or not to remove the previous "Dammit AudioBlogger!" post. On one hand, the audio post finally manifested itself and now I can forget about my woes from earlier today and keep the blog looking clean. On the other hand, IT TOOK 7 FUCKING HOURS!!!!In

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111992769015084332005-03-28T00:57:00.000-06:002005-03-28T01:00:56.523-06:00

I hate it when I can't sleep. Insomnia is a real bitch, as a matter of fact. Right now I'm getting to that stage of a sleepless night where you start to get frustrated you can't sleep. Of course this compounds the problem to the point where the whole night is just fucked. In fact, I'm so tired as I'm typing this that I don't really care about my grammar. I usually at least try to make an effort

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111775109402515632005-03-25T12:10:00.000-06:002005-03-25T12:25:09.403-06:00

I hate titles that reference cheesy movies, but sometimes I have no choice.Gas prices have gotten absolutely ridiculous. Here in Missouri, gas is over $2 a gallon. In a state like California or New York, two bucks for gas has been the norm. However, here in the drain hole of the country, this is a little extreme. I think all the big oil companies figured that they should just raise prices in

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111621342866592352005-03-23T17:42:00.000-06:002005-03-23T18:28:49.603-06:00

I'm experimenting with a new photograph host service and I decided this was a good picture for the inauguration. In case you were curious, this is a photo of me and my loser uncle. We were on a bus going to the big car race in downtown Long Beach. It was a great day up until the party after the race. This wad that I call an uncle got so drunk that day he puked all over my brand new hat.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111540834685772772005-03-22T19:20:00.000-06:002005-03-29T09:25:07.136-06:00

Trust me, dearest reader, this will yield some wicked fun results.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111507110219321602005-03-22T09:42:00.000-06:002005-03-22T10:06:46.676-06:00

During the editor's meeting this morning we here at JustinSpeak learned a lesson: irony is a bad mother fucker. After all the emotional drama of yesterday's posts, a friend emails me this bad boy. I hope for the sake of all that is holy this dude is lying. If he isn't, then I feel I have to buy a coffee mug or something. Either way, this guy is one of the most brilliant capitalists since

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111450418928382842005-03-21T20:19:00.000-06:002005-03-21T19:00:52.900-06:00

Okay. Methinks I need to settle down before I breathe fire on really touchy subjects. There really is no need for me to gush out masturbatory verbiage on euthanasia. However, I cannot help but get sucked into the enormous gravity of the issue. Life is our most precious gift. Who is to say when it should be mercifully ended? How can you know that someone like Terri Shiavo can no longer be

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111418097640214042005-03-21T09:01:00.000-06:002005-03-21T09:33:05.966-06:00

This is ridiculous. Click Me Dearest ReaderI know this issue is rather en vogue lately, and I will show restraint from ramming my opinion down your throat with the many paragraphs I could write on this subject. However, I curse the self-righteous and self-absorbed right wing freaks who won't let this poor woman die.If you disagree with me on this, then I will answer your question. Yes, if I

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111339821300516972005-03-20T11:14:00.000-06:002005-03-20T11:36:18.816-06:00

My dearest Robyn hit the nail on the head. The blog looks goofy with a big font. Orchard was correct as well, the posts looked a lot longer.Just in case any of you were wondering, there is a way to change the fonts of a website. Simply follow this path: View-->Text Size-->Your Choice.Last night was epic. The adventurers started at the lowly Duchesene Bar and Grill and slayed their way to the

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111182029031025052005-03-18T15:38:00.000-06:002005-03-18T15:40:29.033-06:00

I made the font a little bigger, does this make JustinSpeak easier to read?Oh, by the way, it is DIVE BAR night on Saturday. We will get fucked up. We will accumulate stories to tell. We will I say, we will.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111178257502819032005-03-18T14:01:00.000-06:002005-03-18T15:07:22.720-06:00

Remember how wonderful life was when you were five years old? There was nothing else to do except let your imagination run wild.Remember how much life sucked when you were five years old? You were too short to reach the cookie jar without climbing all over the place just to be able to see eye to eye with the cookies.Can you recollect how awesome it was to be ten? When you are ten, the adults in

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1111086345714066692005-03-17T11:41:00.000-06:002005-03-17T13:05:45.716-06:00

Today, my dearest reader, I want to share with you one of my principal philosophies on life. Now I know what you're thinking, "Oh shit, do I really want to read this?" Yes you do because I will make this very short and digestible. Also, one of the reasons JustinSpeak hired me as a writer is my ability to give pretty damn good advice.Ahh, humility, where have you gone?Example #1:Have you ever

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1110946786635999132005-03-15T22:04:00.000-06:002005-03-15T23:10:37.136-06:00

I've been on a quest to get a wider brush in my cadre of musical implements. In the last couple months I have bought a ukelele, bongos and a USB midi interface that allows me to use my "good piece of shit" Casio keyboard for my Reasoning. I've downloaded blueprints to build a cajone, which is a Argentinean drum, and looked into building a kalimba as well. My frantic wall bombing and bush burning

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1110242732842836362005-03-13T15:06:00.000-06:002005-03-13T13:20:36.736-06:00

Here, my dearest of dearest reader, is the yin to the yang of my other TOP 5.EDITOR'S NOTE: If you are a regular visitor to a certain circle of blogs, you might think that "TOP XXX OF ALL TIME" lists are really popular now. Its not that we editors suck each other off and do what the other does all the time. Its just that great minds do indeed think alike. Capisce?*****TOP FIVE RECORDS TO

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1110582370868949702005-03-11T17:03:00.000-06:002005-03-11T17:06:10.870-06:00

Why can't I post comments on other people's blogs? Whenever you're little search programs come across this post, have them take my plea to the mothership and fix the problem!For the human readers, is anyone else having this problem? Oh yeah, if it is a problem you wouldn't be able to post a comment and answer my question.Maybe its just me.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1110567843441880742005-03-11T12:36:00.000-06:002005-03-11T16:53:29.043-06:00

I recently got myself a copy of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Needless to say, the game is one of the most enjoyable videogames I have ever played, and I've played a lot of those damn things. As many of you know, the GTA series is famous for its horrifically needless violence, shockingly coarse language, and very mature themes. How many games do you know glamourize walking into the middle of

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1110402441811154142005-03-09T14:48:00.000-06:002005-03-09T15:08:46.656-06:00

Today was the first day at my new job. Maybe I am actually starting to mature a little bit now because I have my own office and I work at a place that does not require me to wear a name tag. Scary shit man, scary shit. You know what else is scary? We Generation Y-ers seem to think that after college, the world is handed to you on a diamond-studded silver platter complete with a suckling pig

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1110152369236975722005-03-06T17:14:00.000-06:002005-03-06T17:41:58.423-06:00

I have to admit something, dearest reader, I have had a bit of an epiphany. Last night I realized that it is really possible to enjoy yourself almost every second of life. The only ingredient to having a good time is the desire to enjoy. Many thanks to my friends for sharing in the celebration of my FIRST day. The only thing I would change about last night would be the inclusion of my dearest

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1110051549833630922005-03-05T12:22:00.000-06:002005-03-05T13:52:10.870-06:00

When you're young, let's say 24, birthdays are a celebratory phenomenon. When you're old, let's say 54, a birthday is a sadistic reminder that you are one year farther away from the youthful exuberance of years past. Don't get me wrong, I do find a very pure beauty to the aging process. As we grow older, our understanding of life and our place in existence becomes much clearer. The human

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1109792607656742352005-03-02T13:42:00.000-06:002005-03-02T13:54:06.540-06:00

When you get to the site, you must enter it in order to see my work. There are two screens to go through, but once you get in, mine will be the first to appear on your monitor. Visual poetry perhaps?click me for enlightenment

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1109715942529956662005-03-01T15:47:00.000-06:002005-03-02T18:56:22.730-06:00

I can't think of a greater one hit wonder than Gustav HolstSpeaking of wonders, how many more times will our government issue these damn blanket warnings before they "cry wolf?"Wolves and Shitzus are related...Think about that for a moment...Wolves and ShitzusThe dog show on ESPN gets extraordinary ratings. Isn't that funny? Do people plan to watch a dog show or if they are channel surfing and

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1109498832607257482005-02-27T03:54:00.000-06:002005-02-27T04:07:12.710-06:00

Its 4:00 in the morning and I saw The Wrens a mere five and a half hours ago...Easily the most endearing band I have ever seen. These guys played from the bottom of their hearts. I have seen better bands, I have been to better shows...However, I haven't been to a show quite like this one...oh no, not this time tooI'm the only one you got to use and if I tell you all this could be nothing more

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1109380169178505302005-02-25T18:48:00.000-06:002005-02-25T19:12:03.060-06:00

The following is a free verse poem, for lack of a better description, that I wrote while yacked out on very green marijuana and ten some odd Rolling Rocks. This "work" was composed sometime in late 1999. At this time I was a freshman at the University of Missouri who, like all good 19 year olds, liked to keep a healthy distance from sobriety.The odyssey begins...Somehow between somewhere and now,

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1109043746528048782005-02-21T20:45:00.000-06:002005-02-21T21:51:57.443-06:00

I can't say I was the biggest Hunter Thompson fan in the world. My relationship with The Good Doctor only extended as far as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, a few documentaries, and his somewhat monthly column on espn.com/page2. However, I cannot deny his contribution to the verbose, from left field and stream of consciousness style of writing that I love so much. I only hope that his final

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1107921698848665232005-02-08T21:06:00.000-06:002005-02-08T22:01:38.846-06:00

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following contains a lot of hypocritical stereotyping and snobbery. I do not intend to hurt feelings, nor to make people hate me...But sometimes I get fed up things and I have to say something about it. So I was at the record store the other day perusing through the thousands of available albums when I noticed a strange phenomenon. Some people like to talk aloud about the

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10200544.post-1105926174630794252005-01-16T19:42:00.000-06:002005-01-17T20:56:08.836-06:00

I hate the sound of my alarm clock. Alarm clocks annoy me for two reasons. First, they make that god awful sound. Its like hearing fingernails on a chalkboard, dentist drills, emergency broadcast tests, and Bill O'Reilly all at once...ugh Second, they annoy me because the sound they make means I have to get up and do something that requires me to be on time, like work or a dentist appointment.

Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14825218018288110240noreply@blogger.com1